dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
