she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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