I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
