i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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