thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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