hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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