i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
