just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
