i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
