You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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