$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
