I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
