you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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