Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
