Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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