you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
