if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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