Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
