She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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