dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
