I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
