i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You have to summon your inner elephant
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
