It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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