i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
