I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
