If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
