I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
