He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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