she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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