at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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