she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
