Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
