I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
