My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
