dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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