We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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