I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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