I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
