hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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