Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
