It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
