Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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