Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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