I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
