just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
