Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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