I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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