im six kinds of drunk right now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
