I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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