I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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