Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
