Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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