He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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