Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
