i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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