I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
